YukoAsho's Thoughts on Gaming

Party Time!

2008-09-25T19:17:38Z

Jack Thompson has been officially disbarred! Not much to say here: just that it's time to party!

Stop Following the Leader

2008-09-21T01:36:21Z

Before I start, I'd like to preface this by saying that what I'm going to say right now isn't the most popular sentiment out there. However, I have to respond to this silly fucking article. In recent years, it's become rather fashionable to bash the whole of GameStop Corporation for their “evil” pre-ordering and used game policy. Personally, while the lemmings who blindly follow the “hate GameStop” train are amusing, one can only take that blind idiocy so long.

I fucking like GameStop.

There, I said it. I'm prepared for my flogging now.

Seriously, the hatred for GameStop has just gotten to the point of being not only unreasonable, but a living testament to how stupid and easy to manipulate the game community is. Let's take a look at the complaints:

Trying to make you reserve something: And? As long as they're respectful when you say no, what's the big deal? Nothing wrong with trying to get some upsell. Yes, there might be the occasional jackass, but that's usually solved by complaining to the manager or to corporate. Also, it could just be a bad store, which I'll talk about later.

GameStop doesn't buy games for a “fair” price: Just because you're too much of a fucking lazy ass to put your game up on eBay or look for another deal doesn't mean GameStop's ripping you off. They're offering you a price, you can take it or leave it. No real problem.

GameStop charges too much for used games: Again, you're being lazy. The thing with “second hand” merchandise is that they aren't going to be price-fixed like new games are. Prices are set by the retailer based on demand and supply. Basically, they're priced what GameStop thinks they can get away with. There are plenty of great deals in there, but don't expect to get a used GTA IV for a song. Again, if you're so enraged, go eBay or various trading sites.

GameStop's selection sucks: Bull fucking shit. I've been to several GameStops, as well as Wal-Mart, Best Buy, and Circuit “we never mark games down” City (they don't have GameCrazy here in Florida. I'm not sure they're on the east coast at all.). I can tell you that, without a doubt, GameStop has the best selection of the whole lot. They're the only place where games from Atlus, Nippon Ichi, and other small publishers can be reliably found, in addition to most RPGs that aren't 1^st party or Square Enix mega-titles. Also, the used sales program that you all hate so damned much allows me to get many old games, which also gives GameStop the honor of being the only major retail outlet left (again, on the east coast) where you can get quality games for the GameCube and original Xbox.

And lastly:

GameStop's staff isn't knowledgeable/is rude/etc: Most chains are going to have the odd rotten apple. It's the nature of any chain that size. I've been in more than my share of Denny's and Burger King locations that weren't exactly up to par, but I'm not exactly going to swear off the whole of Denny's or Burger King. Fuck that, I need my triple whoppers and meat lovers' scrambles. I'm going to take it up with the management, or I'm going to find another location. That's the thing about chains, there's a ton of locations in most cases.

In closing, if you don't like GameStop, fine. I wouldn't piss on a burning McDonald's to put it out. If that's the case, however, shut the fuck up and go wherever the hell you go. I'll go where I go. Deal?

Then again, I doubt people will suddenly read this and have an epiphany. More likely I'll get spammed into oblivion. Afterall, as Statler and Waldorf observe here...

Thou Shalt Not Worship False Idols

2008-09-17T19:08:21Z

Well, Spore's been out for a while, and with the exception of people complaining about DRM, there seems to be a huge divide, at least if Meta Critic is to be believed. Meta Critic has the game at 85% based on 45 reviews, but the game rates 4.7 with users. Now, we're going to be liberal and give the game a full extra point to excuse people ranting solely on the DRM without having played the game. So that's 85% with reviewers and 57% with users. Why the incredible gulf? Looking at Meta Critic, it seems that many reviewers are willing to excuse the overly simplified gameplay because the game's so darn creative. Which of course is a nice way of saying that they all worship Will Wright and don't dare give the game a poor rating.

Now I'm going to go back to something I discussed when Bioshock was still the big topic of the day, but I really hate the idea of trying to create celebrities. A lot of the reviews listed on the Meta Critic site are very open in their willingness to excuse bad gameplay.

Gametrailers – Score 88: Spore will leave you in a state of wide-eyed wonderment one minute, and disappointed the next. The limited online interaction and surprisingly short campaign make it easy to think about what could have been. The fact is, there’s no other game like it, and a lot of things that will be hated by some, will be just as liked by others.

IGN – Score 88: While Spore is an amazing product, it's just not quite an amazing game. I can't help but feel that Spore is ambitious and memorable, but I also admit that, save for the cool Space Stage, there's not a lot of depth here. Rookie gamers are going to feel at home here, but veteran gamers may feel like they need more.

1UP – Score 83 (B+): Strictly as a game, Spore's a flawed effort in five different genres, smushed together in a casual-player-friendly manner. But as a tangible representation of intelligent design, with an emphasis on creation and sharing, it falls perfectly in line with the rest of Will Wright's work. It's not a perfect game, but it's definitely one that any serious gamer should try.

Giant Bomb – Score 80 (****):Spore's most positive traits are so uniquely satisfying that it's disappointing the gameplay which underpins them isn't more engrossing.

I think you all get the picture. Many of the most respected outlets have made the game out to be an amazing experience despite the gameplay being watered down. Again, I can't help but wonder if this is exclusively because of everyone's fanatical love of Will Wright. I really hope it's not that, but I can't help but shake the feeling that all this praise and the open willingness to all but ignore the most important part of any game simply because it was helmed by the creator of The Sims. Indeed, it's an absolute shame that the only review that dares cross paths with His Holiness Will Wright is from a pathetic troll. That's a sad statement for the state of the gaming media, if you ask me.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not here to worship at the heels of anyone. I'm here because I'm a gamer who enjoys playing games. I'm no gossip hound, and I firmly reject any attempt to make the gaming industry into another Hollywood, where the celebrities are more important than the works they are involved in. I can't play Will Wright, damn you. Well I could, but he's not exactly the hottest guy ever...

The Coming Darkness: Sacrificing Freedom for Security

2008-09-14T03:32:54Z

With the announcement of a 5-install limit for Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3 and the problems legitimate consumers have had with Spore, people are once again railing against the evil that is DRM in the PC gaming landscape. Indeed, no form of copy-protection has been able to prove effective, and nearly all of them have proven bothersome, from the minor inconvenience of checking the manual or a CD-Key to the nightmare of online activation. With numerous workarounds for Steam games, it's been proven that even digital distribution doesn't work. That is of course to say nothing of digital distribution plus SecuROM, which did no favors for Bioshock. Indeed, not a single method of protection has proven effective.

However, what is the alternative?

Obviously, there's a massive problem with pre-release copies of the games being leaked, presumably by less-scrupulous employees or game media outlets. However, even the complete eradication of all corruption in every game publisher, disc manufacturing plant and gaming media service would only buy a couple of days worth of protection. Indeed, PC gaming seems like a lost cause, especially compared to console development, in which piracy requires physical tampering of the machine (save for the Dreamcast, but that's another story). So the question then becomes “what can be done?” Without income, games cannot continue to be made. This isn't a charity, after all. The programmers, designers, advertisers and investors aren't going to do something that is a liability simply to please some PC elitists. The continually shrinking PC section at most game stores is a testament to that.

The problem here is that torrents are way too easy to find. A simple search on Google will show you a multitude of torrents for any game you desire (save for older, out of print games, oddly enough). It doesn't matter if it's “evil” megacorp EA's Spore or fan favorite Capcom's Bionic Commando Rearmed, it will be pirated. Therefore, when every company is victimized, we can rule out the idiotic 'solution' offered by pirates: “make your game worth buying.”

Unfortunately, the problem is the lack of any real policing on the Internet. Much of it is the wild, wild west, and sites like Google will lead you to information about how to make a nuclear device, let alone torrents for you to effortlessly steal games. Until we get a policing policy in place that makes people stealing on the Internet as accountable as people stealing from stores, the slow and agonizing death of the PC is all but assured.

However, the policing of the Internet could very well become a nuclear weapon used on a housefly.

I don't think there's any debate: The entertainment industry has more lobbying money than any “digital rights” group. Eventually, we're going to have a much, much larger push toward legislation to clamp down on the problem. Blacklisted websites, over-regulation of ISPs, banned protocols, capped bandwidths, it's all possible with enough lobbying to enough politicians. The Internet as we know it could come to an end, at least in the United States and other countries which respect copyright law. We've already seen the beginnings of this with the DMCA, and it's going to get far worse in a relatively fast manner.

The pirates may not even realize it, but they're going to ruin the Internet long before they ruin these industries. There's too much money at stake for the status quo to continue.

"User Exchangeable."

2008-08-26T14:41:08Z

With installs fast becoming a mandatory hindrance for PS3 users, I decided to get a new HDD for it. 320GB, I figured, should be enough. If I only knew what I was setting myself up for.

So I go home from the local Tiger Direct outlet and set about upgrading. At first t was easy enough to just take the caddy out. However, things stopped being easy when it came time to unscrew the old 60GB hard drive from the caddy. Two of the screws stripped when I tried to unscrew them, rendering it impossible to unscrew them.

I grabbed a pair of pliers (PLIERS!), and while they were able to take one screw out, the other screw was so tight that even the pliers weren't working. Frustration and anger of the highest order began to set in, to the point where, out of sheer desperation I tore the HDD out of the caddy. This, however, had the side effect of bending the caddy irreparably. Now I'm stuck waiting for two weeks for Sony to send me a new caddy before I can use my PS3 can be used again.

This is Sony's idea of “user exchangeable”? For this sort of thing to work, the unit has to be easy to pull in and out. Ideally, the compartment should be small enough to where you don't need a caddy at all, but if a caddy is needed, the drive shouldn't be welded to the damned thing.

Suddenly, the Xbox 360's proprietary hard drive seems worth paying for.

Makes you wanna scream, doesn't it?

Worst Game EvAr.

2008-08-15T14:35:25Z

Recently, Katherine Fletcher over at Channelflip Games has shown us what she believes to be the ten worst games of all time.

With some obvious picks and some less-than-obvious selections, Katherine has created a well-rounded sampling of some of the most atrocious crap to ever "grace" the gaming industry. While hers is qite a list, I thought I'd think about the games I consider to be the cream of the crap, and ask you all what you consider yours.

10: Pac-Man - Atari 2600.
Released during the height of America's "Pac-Man Fever," this game sold seven million units to a userbase of 10 million, a good number by any stretch. The problem is that Atari had made 11 million cartridges, expecting the game to spur more Atari 2600 hardware sales. This, however, is not the real problem. The real problem was that the game that was published went straight from prototype to retail, as Atari was in such a rush to get the game out that they released a concept program rather than taking proper care with the port. The result was a game with flickering ghosts, a Pac-Man that didn't rotate, and a maze with one warp tunnel at the top/bottom. The game looked and played nothing like the game America fell in love with, and the resulting dissapointment, combined with E.T., helped to bring the gaming industry to ruin.

9: Battletoads - Nintendo Entertainment System.
Difficulty is fine. Nothing's wrong wth a legitimately challenging game, and the NES had some of the best (Hi there, Guardian Legend). However, when a game is hard due to simply being cheap, that is lazy. Battletoads is in this lazy, stupidly difficult category, and it turns a pretty cool game with an off-the-wall style into an exercise in frustration. Even in games like Ninja Gaiden, there's some room for improvement. Battletoads offers nothing but frustration, and shows the perils of looking at the "good old days" with rose-tinted glasses.

8: Beyond the Beyond - Sony Playstation.
In the time before Final Fantasy VII thrust RPGs into the marketability they enjoy today, RPGs were, to put it mildly, hard to come by. As such, RPG fans played some downright atrocious games just because we knew that was all the RPG we were going to be playing for a while. Beyond the Beyond, however, stung especially hard. This was a game that combined grossly pixelated visuals, bland characters, the most aggressively blatant grind sessions since Vay on the Sega CD, a localization most likely done by the SCEA janitorial staff and that damned sound effect that began with Shining where character speech would be represented by horrible sound effects to create an RPG that was an atrocity even in its time. Thank God for Suikoden and Wild ARMs.

7. Tecmo Secret of the Stars - Super Nintendo Entertainment System.
Another in a long line of RPGs no one would have looked at were it not for the pre-FF7 drought, Tecmo Secret of the Stars (Yes, the publisher's name was IN the title, much like Tecmo Bowl) ups the ante for shitty ass RPGs. Despite being released well into the SNES' life, the game was barely above Turbografx 16 Hu-Card games. It also featured a throwaway cast and a story held together with scotch tape and glue. Most offensive was the battle system, which was criminally simple and underdeveloped. Indeed, the whole game just screams half-assed.

6: Revolution X - Arcade.
Who doesn't love a good lightgun game? Constant action, legions of enemies, and a brand of chaos that few games can emulate. However, when the game in question sports the single most uncomfortable and huge gun ever, it's just hard to play. It doesn't help that the enemies aren't particularly interesting and the Aerosmith tie-in is stupidly blatant. Memo to developers: we want streamlined guns in our lightgun games.

5: The 7th Saga - Super Nintendo Entertainment System.
Another one in the long line of games that were pointlessly hard, The 7th Saga was a game that caused many a thrown controller for the wrong reasons. No matter what level you were - and trust me, this game was the ultimate grind-a-thon, insta-death was always possible, either by spell or by your enemy simply being too damned hard. Not only that, but the feeling of reward just isn't there. Level Ups are slow, as is getting money, the story is subpar even by the standards of the era, and the otherwise beautiful graphics are decidedly sparse outside of towns. A failure by any definition.

4. Rumble Roses XX - Xbox 360.
The rare instance of a laughably bad game that I enjoy despite, the game manages to one-down the previous game in the series by removing the storyline and replacing the already dodgy mud wrestling with a street fight mode which is completely incompatible with the game's fighting style. The problem with this game, much like the original Rumble Roses, is that the moveset for all the characters is very submission-heavy. A good wresling game, like a good fighting game, has a great list of characters with diverse personalities and fighting styles. While the personalities are awesome and sensual, the over-emphasis on submission moves leads to long, mind-numbing bouts. At least when characters aren't using their context INsensitive supers. Add a throwaway character creation mode, and you have a pretty crappy game whose existence is only justified by the sheer amount of sexiness held within.

BRONZE
3. Dragonball Z Sagas - Nintendo Gamecube.
The game was a cash-in of the lowest order. While the game featured great video from the series, the actual in-game grahpics were bland, with almost nothing in the way of textures used throughout. This also combines a minimalistic fighting mechanic and a severe lack of enemy variety to make for one of the dullest cash-in franchise games ever. There's just no reason for this game to exist.

SILVER
2. Xevious - Arcade.
You know ho shooter games are supposed to have a lot of action and tension? Apparently someone didn't give Namco the memo when Xevious was unleashed. The graphics were adequate for the time, but the "action" if you could call it that was slower than Space Invaders, and the background music made elevator music seem appealing. How this game came from the same studio that was pumping out kickass games like Pac-Man and Galaga, I'll never know.

GOLD
1. Peggle Deluxe- PC.
I don't hate casual games. Far from it. I could sit there in front of Puzzle Bobble, Geometry Wars,Marble Blast Ultra, Puzzle Quest, Magical Drop -- Er, I mean Astro Pop, or Everyday Shooter for hours. The thing with Peggle is that there's not really any gameplay element to it. You shoot a ball, then proceed to pray. It's a lot like a variant of that old The Price Is Right game Plinko, or Lucky Hit from Shenmue II, only more random. It's not even a game, and I don't get why anyone likes it.

Yahtzee the Professional Troll

2008-08-07T01:02:24Z

For the longest time, I've been a defender of Mr. Ben Croshaw. I'm not a fan of most gaming media, which is little more than marketing for the major game companies. However, Yahtzee's so-called "critiquing" style has gotten old.

The problem with Yahtzee here is that he's approaching E3 with such a negative agenda as to reduce himself to the caricature he's often been accused of being, someone who bashes only to bash, who ignores the wealth of positives in the subject matter to rip into even the slightest negative. He purposefully ignores Mirror's Edge, Little Big Planet, Dead Space, Beyond Good and Evil 2, Lips' iPod/Zune compatibility, and anything else that might interfere with is carefully constructed managerie of E3 as a vast wasteland of tired content.

Of course, Yahtzee's got a history of bashing on things that are perfectly fine for the sole reason of being contrary.

Also, he goes out of his way to insult JRPGs, anime and Japanese culture in general.

At first, it got me giggling, but this, like much of Yahtzee's retreaded themes, have gotten nearly as old and tired as Nintendo Wii. The E3 video just got to me as a man struggling to stay relevant. While I appreciate anyone who is willing to stand up and actually criticize something (which is why I'm moving here in the first place), there's a vast difference between being critical and being cynical. Being critical is the act of looking at something and analyzing it fairly (Jeff Gerstmann). Being cynical is the mindset that everything is garbage, to the point where this prejudice causes you to ignore anything that might be good, which is Yahtzee here.

The problem with cynicism is the same problem with being a polyana: If you're always negative, the reader/viewer becomes desensitized and less trusting. It's good to be critical, and it's GREAT to have a contrary opinion, but when you only seek to come off as a negative prick, you are no longer a critic or a valued opinion: You're a talking head. A pariah. No different than Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. While reviewing is a subjective art in the end, it's important to have an open mind. Review a game on its own merits. No one wants to be a Yahtzee.

First in hardware, last in software

2008-07-18T16:29:51Z

As many of you may have heard (probably from Nintendo fanboys gloating), Nintendo Wii has overtaken the Xbox 360 as the best-selling console in North America. This while software - especially 3rd party software other than Guitar Hero - continues to lag ridiculously behind the Xbox 360. To call it odd is an understatement.

The whole phenomenon of the Wii hardware doing so incredibly well while the software does so phenomenally poorly is one I can't really see having been replicated in the industry. In the post-crash era, the software sold best on NES, SNES, PlayStation and PlayStation 2. It's just common sense that the best-selling console also have the most successful software library.

Common sense until the Wii came along. Despite selling 10.9 million units in North America, the software attach rates on the Wii are pathetic next to the 360. Also, with the exception of Guitar Hero and Wii Fit, the only consistant software sellers are Nintendo Mascot games (Wii Play, by any notion, sells because of the remote). This isn't to say that there aren't good 3rd party games, despite what Nintendo fanboys tell anyone who'll listen. There ARE good games out there that aren't selling, such as Boom Blox, which has tanked phenmonimally, or No More Heroes, which was marked down in price in two or three months after release because Ubi just couldn't move copies. The good games just aren't selling well, with the exception of Rayman Raving Rabbids the two Resident Evil games on the platform.

So what's created this strange atmosphere? It'd be easy to write it off as just casuals only buying it for "exercise" or some nonsense like that (though I'm sure that's happening in large numbers), but I suspect the real problem is us, the gamer.

Because of the Wii's inexpense compared to the Xbox 360 and PS3, many owners of the next-gen systems also own Wiis. However, as software sales are suggesting, the Wii is not the primary console for these people. I know that I myself look at 360 first, then PS3, then PC (I recently upgraded my rig), THEN the Wii. Boom Blox and Chocobo's Mysterious Dungeon aside (I want to get those badly), I mostly use my Wii as a Mario/Zelda/Metroid player. It's no common secret that the best selling Nintendo games, even among their first-party titles, have been mascot games for well over a decade.

The question then becomes "what can be done to make the Wii a primary console?" Titles like Madworld are a huge part of that shift, but for it to happen, Nintendo themselves need to be more agressive in courting the gamers, convincing them that their Wiis are good for more than just Mario, Zelda, Metroid and some Pokemon. Nintendo needs to take risks in the software arena. 3rd parties also need to help. While there are plenty of good 3rd party Wii games, the 3rd parties are more concerned with clinging to their piece of Nintendo's novelty crowd, knowing that gamers are more likely to buy for the 360 and PS3. We need more good, gamer-focused games that aren't crappy ports of PS3/360 titles (I'm looking at YOU, Activision).

However, even if that happens in the short term, will 3rd parties back away at the first sign of failure? If MadWorld doesn't do well, will the rest of the 3rd-party development community take it as a warning not to put big money in making games for the Wii? If that happens, we'll have no one but ourselves to look at for viewing the Wii as a Nintendo mascot machine.

Final Fantasy CCCLX

2008-07-15T13:31:52Z

For the few of you who may not have head, Final Fantasy XIII will be headed to the Xbox 360. Not only that, but Europe and North America will see the 360 version released on the same day as the PS3.

To say this is a major coup for Microsoft would be putting it lightly. Considering the original Xbox's complete lack of RPGs that mattered outside of KOTOR, MS has done an absolutely amazing job turning their second system into the RPG powerhouse of this generation. Eternal Sonata, Blue Dragon, Lost Odyssey, Enchanted Arms, Mass Effect, Operation Darkness, and now Final Fantasy XIII, now make the Xbox 360 the first choice for RPG lovers. This will also be a sure seller of 360s in the future. To say that MS is on top of the world right now would be an understatement.

But where does that leave Sony? Yes, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots was a huge system seller, but what's their next major exclusive? Yes, Final Fantasy Versus XIII is still exclusive for now, but it's only a matter of time before that game goes multi-platform. That doesn't leave Sony with a lot to boast outside of Resistance 2, LittleBigPlanet, White Knight Story and Killzone 2. So the question becomes this: What does Sony do to ensure a steady stream of exclusive games? There's really only two things they CAN do, honestly:

1) Start paying publishers. Microsoft's gotten pretty far by bribing publishers left and right. I strongly suspect most Japanese publishers wouldn't even look at Microsoft were it not for generous kickbacks, considering the Xbox 360's pathetic position in Japan. Considering the sheer girth of Sony and their recent strides in streamlining the PS3 production process, Sony should really look into buying some exclusives the way Microsoft has. Failing that, they could do...

2) Greatly strengthen 1st party development. The PlayStation 1 and 2 saw relatively few mega-hit titles from Sony themselves. Yes, the titles they put out were often quite phenomenal (Shadow of the Colossus, Jak & Daxter, etc), but unlike Nintendo, Sony's always been overshadowed by 3rd party efforts on their systems. If Sony's not willing to start paying for exclusives, they might want to start making a whole hell of a lot more of their own titles, and advertising the everloving hell out of them.

Either way, the days of Sony getting tons of exclusives because of the PlayStation brand alone are long dead. The last two years have damaged that name in the eyes of consumers and publishers. It's time Sony started rebuilding.

A Fair and Balanced Look at Second Life

2008-07-04T13:13:47Z

Hello again, everyone.

Sorry I took such a long break, but after my last few non-review posts caused so much crap, I needed to get out of the blogosphere for a bit. One can only take so much drama. Anyway, these last few months, I've been giving Second Life a spin.

Now, let's get one thing out of the way - yes, there's a ton of sex-related stuff on Second Life. Strip clubs, escort services, orgies, whatever the more perverse elements of society could ever want are available in abundance in SL. However, to characterize it as being solely about that would be a disservice, especially against the backdrop of the internet at large. There are OTHER things available for entertainment. One of my favorite places is Mobius, which features recreations of old Sonic the Hedgehog levels, complete with rings you can collect. The dedication some people have to recreating something they've seen in a game or other type of content is absolutely amazing.

There are also various sporting event opportunties. For example, you can take a car and race through town.

Or perhaps a game of soccer is more your thing.

And of course, there's tons of shopping. Everything from weapons to clothes to vehicles can be found herein.

And let's not forget the roleplaying.

However, what keeps Second Life running are the people. While there are perverts and assholes out there, as with any portion of the internet (though it's not as bad as Xbox Live), the majority of the people you'll meet are actually quite friendly. I'm still learning thing, even now, because people are mostly nice and willing to answer questions. It's been a very fun experience.

Of course, it's not all roses and puppies and puppies made of roses. You have griefers who want nothing more than to ruin everyone else's fun by trying to crash your sim, most commonly through the use of self-replicating items. This has led to the institution of a policy whereby most places won't let you place objects in-world unless you're a member, necessitating the purchase of a home. And, as with any part of the internet, there are people who have no clue how to type properly. Also, in any number of niches you'll find prejudices, most commonly against furry roleplayers.

However, it's generally more good than bad. Much like the real world, most people are decent, but the assholes get more press, especially out in the mainstream media. It's not a utopia, but just like anywhere else, and is generally favorable compared to the rest of t he internet. Just find yourself a niche and you should be fine.

Identity Crisis

2008-04-11T21:57:55Z

Sorry for the delay in posts, but I've been banging my head agaisnt the wall for the last few weeks trying to beat Rainbow Six Vegas 2 on Realistic. I actually got my PS3 version exchanged for the Xbox 360 version of the game, and will be writing a new review based on that version. But that's not what I'm here to talk about today.

I recently got Time Crisis 4 w/ Guncon 3, for the low, low price of $89.99, not so bad considering the peripheral it comes with. It's a generally good game, but doesn't seem to know what it wants to be.

Before talking about the game, let's talk about the Guncon 3 itself. Compared to the Guncon and Guncon 2, it's actually quite massive, with two grips, two sticks, and a grand total of eight buttons if you count the press-in button of each stick.

(Source - http://gamespot.com)

(Source - http://megaline.wordpress.com ) (Japanese version of the gun is shown in this screenshot. Both versions are functionally the same, and only differ in color)

As a left-handed gamer, I find the gun a tad bit uncomfortable, at least with Time Crisis 4, which makes full use of most of the buttons on the gun. It was clearly made with right-handed gamers in mind. My left hand cramped up something fierce after 20 minutes of holding the second grip. However, as is the tradition with Guncon controllers, the 3 is deadly accurate, thanks to a pair of infared LEDs that are placed at either side of the TV, and a simple calibration that pops up when Time Crisis 4 boots up. Unfortunately, the Guncon 3 requires two USB ports (one for the gun, one for the sensors, so a USB hub will be necessary for 40GB PS3 owners, since a controller must be plugged into the system to start the game if auto start is disabled.

Now that we've talked about the gun, let's get to the game. Time Crisis 4 is the latest in the long-running Time Crisis series, which replaces the traditional pure-speed approach of most rail shooters with a duck-and cover system, which is replicated faithfully here with the A1 button. Shots directly headed the player's way will be red-tinted, while the rest of the bullets flying will be directed toward NPCs. It's a bit of an artificial distinction, but it works well enough for the game. In addition to the wide variety of soldiers and vehicles that'll be gunning for the player, Time Crisis 4 introduces swarming hordes of insects, a biological weapon code-named "Terror Bite." Now this is the part where any player with a brain rolls his or her eyes, as the plot in this game is absolutely ridiculous. A battalion of US military troops specializing in handling these biological weapons has gone rogue for some reason or another, and it's up to Giorgio, Evan and Captain Rush to save the day.

(Source - http://videogames.techfresh.net)

The game actually has two modes. The first is the arcade mode, which is a faithful reproduction of the arcade original, with the duck/reload function matched to the A1 button on the Guncon 3. Players will have a limited amount of credits with each play, but will earn more with subsequent playthroughs, similar to House of the Dead 3. In general, it's not a huge evolution from previous TC games, but it's a fun little ight gun game for light gun fans.

However, the main mode is "Complete Mission," which intersperses the arcade levels with FPS stages where the player assumes Captain Rush's character. These stages are, to say the least, awkward with the Guncon 3. In two stick control, players use the A stick (on the second grip) to move along with the B stick (at the back of the gun) to turn. Combined with the manual aiming that is expected of any light gun game, the controls can be a bit much to handle, especially since plenty of buttons are used on the gun. Playing with one-stick controll eliminates the need to use the B stick for moving (though you'll still need to click it to zoom), allowing you instead to turn by moving the gun toward the sides of the screen, much like Metroid Prime 3. Indeed, by turning the cursor on (press the C2 button), players can save the stress of staring down the sights and just play this like MP3. However, the levels aren't anywhere near as inspired as Metroid Prime 3's, making it clear that this was a tad bit of an afterthought. Also, since players are jumped between both modes during the Complete Mission, it's hard to get used to either style. Also, while players are given four life units at the start of each arcade stage, they're bumped to the beginning of the stage upon dying. At least Complete Mission has no credits to worry about. Death in FPS mode is at least a bit more forgiving, allowing players to start at the last checkpoint they reached.

The problem with this game is that it doesn't seem to understand what it wants to be. The FPS mode was clearly made to accomodate western gamers, but it fails to stack up to the FPSes of today, especially stuff like Rainbow Six or Halo. Also, the light gun game isn't nearly as intense as it should be, with the action too clearly broken up into pieces, making for an experience that is somewhat lacking compared to Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles and House of the Dead 4. In trying to be all things to all people, Time Crisis 4 ends up not really being anything for anyone. it's not a bad game, by any means, and any PS3 owner looking for a lightgun game will find a servicable one here. However, those who have access to other games (especially people with a CRT display television and access to a Guncon 2) are better off looking elsewhere.

On a side note, multiplayer is supported with Time Crisis 4, but the gun is not available by itself in North America, leaving the equally unpleasant choices of either getting another copy of TC4 or importing a gun from Japan, which is proving difficult for me at the moment. That's very bush leage there, Namco.

Rainbow Six Vegas 2: Half a Game for Full Price

2008-03-23T03:14:31Z

(Keep in mind that this is based on the PlayStation 3 version of the game. Owners of the Xbox 360 version may have a different experience)

Having thouroughly enjoyed the original Rainbow Six Vegas, I eagerly pre-ordered Vegas 2 and snatched up my copy on release day, then proceeded to tear into it with the sort of childlike enthusiasm that rarely takes hold of me nowadays. However, once I'd absorbed the single player experience, things began to unravel.

The first thing that got to me was that there was a patch ready on the PlayStation Network on the first day out. As bullcrap as this was, I had assumed that this was some sort of multiplayer fix, so I simply went with it. After the patch and the nearly 3 gigabyte install time, the game title screen shows up. Rather than taking control of the previous game's protagonist, Logan Keller, players step into the boots of Bishop, a hardened military instructor pushed into service as the terrorist attack on Las Vegas begins. Rather than being a pure sequel, the game goes the Resident Evil 3 route with parts of the game happening before, during and after the original R6V, with the tutorial first level taking place five years before and providing some excellent foreshadowing. The first thing players will notice is that their character is customizable, with facial details, armor, and gender selectable at the start, a feature only available in the original's Terrorist Hunt and online modes. Also spilling into single player is the experience system, which was previously online-only. Players will unlock armor by earning rank, and weapons by earning points in marksmanship, close-quarters combat and assault disciplines.

The single player game is the same sort of experience for the most part as the original game, though the experience system will initially limit the sort of weapons and armor available. Also, mobility versus protection will have to be weighed when selecting armor, as people who like to fight straight-up will not benefit from light armor. While armor type affects Bishop's abilities, the camoflage options don't seem to have any effect on the game. It makes no difference whether you're decked out in all black or all pink, enemies will see the squad the same way in single player regardless.

The main single player game is about equal in length to that of the original Rainbow Six Vegas, with a suitably epic storyline that ties up the first game's loose ends quite nicely. However, gamers may feel an extreme sense of deja vu, as there has been little in the way of change other than a streamlines layout and a sprint feature. The game is just far too conservative. Also, the copious amount of product placement, most notably for Comcast and Major League Gaming, serves to break immersion at times. Also breaking immersion is the fact that enemies often simply say the English language version of what the enemies said in Spanish in the original game. These niggling bugs aside, the main story is an enjoyable game for fans of the original Vegas.

Terrorist Hunt returns mostly unchanged from the previous game, save that players can now take the main game's AI partners in with them, making it somewhat more playable than the previous title. Those who prefer going it alone may enable the "Lone Wolf" feature in the Terrorist Hunt menu. Other than that, though, nothing new here.

(On a side note, to unlock the Comcast gift map go to the Comcast Gift option in the Extras menu and type the following when prompted: COMCAST FASTER)

I'd like to tell you about multiplayer, which seems to have an impressive array of modes, but I ran into a small problem in multiplayer. Actually, a rather large, imposing problem of being incapable of entering a game. Almost every game I tried to enter told me I couldn't get in, and the few that I could get into cut me off within minutes, making it an unplayable mess. It's a shame too, as the game boasts a variety of modes. However, if Ubi can't be bothered, I don't see why I or anyone else should be either. Considering many first-person shooters rely heavily on multiplayer for their long-term appeal, this is a massive blunder by Ubi Soft Montreal.

For those who enjoy a great single player experience, Rainbow Six Vegas 2 will provide a thrilling, if entirely conservative experience. Those looking for compelling multiplayer, however, are better off taking a pass and sticking with Call of Duty 4.

Patent Trolling at its finest.

2008-03-22T17:24:18Z

Gibson's lawsuits against Activision over Guitar Hero and the trio of Electronic Arts, Activision and Viacom (owners of MTV) over Rock Band are getting messy.

For those of you who somehow haven't heard, Gibson is suing everyone I mentioned above because of a patent they filed some time back - after the release of Konami's Guitar Freaks, mind you - for technology "simulating a musical performance." Now, ignoring how ridiculously vague that is for a moment, let's look at the full patent in question (I'd link straight to the US Patent and Trademark Office page, but it's giving me crap right now). Take a look at that picture. We have a stereoscopic headset, an 8-channel mixer, and a real musical instrument. Guitar Hero has none of these things. Indeed, you're not simulating anything close to what Gibson is talking about here in this patent with either Guitar Hero OR Rock Band. These games are nothing more than Amplitude with cute novelty controllers.

(source: http://www.little-gamers.com )

So why are we here? Why are we talking about a lawsuit regarding a patent that is wildly different from the products in question? Am I perhaps oversimplifying Rock Band and Guitar Hero? Am I maybe overanalyzing the Gibson patent? Or is it that maybe, just maybe, Gibson saw just how popular Guitar Hero has been for the last few years and decided that their licensing deal with Activision just isn't enough money? We've seen many instances of patent trolling over the years, though most end with either out-of-court settlements or the suing party being bought out. That isn't going to happen here, or at least it seems like it isn't. The Evil Assimilators have an army of lawyers that would likely put several real armies to shame, and with Activision and Vivendi recently forming like Voltron, they've likely got an impressive set of legal eagles as well.

(Source: Superpunch.blogspot.com)

In other words, I fully expect Gibson to be nicely roasted in court, assuming they don't have a fit of common sense and withdraw these ridiculous lawsuits.

I also expect future Guitar Hero controllers to NOT be based on Gibson models.

House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return - A review.

2008-03-21T17:57:28Z

I previously mentioned my annoyance at being unable to play House of the Dead 2 on my LCD television, which is a shame since it was one of my favorite Dreamcast games. Thus, it's easy to imagine that I was all over House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return for the Wii.

House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return is, as the name suggests, a collection of House of the Dead 2 and House of the Dead 3, which previously got home console releases on the Dreamcast and the original Xbox respectively. Now, ignoring the obvious omission of the original House of the Dead (seriously, what's up with that?), this is actually a damned good collection, and a wonderful experience for light gun game enthusiasts.

First off, we have House of the Dead 2, which contains all the goodies that were present in the Dreamcast release. In addition to the arcade mode, Original mode allows players to go into battle with their choice of two power-up items. Items can be collected through repeated playthroughs and include increased clip size, extra continues, increased bullet strength and the like. Items are consumed with each use and must be found again in the game to be used in a subsequent playthrough. For those wishing to brush up on their lightgun skills, the game features a robust training mode which guides the player through various objectives to better their skills for the main game. Lastly, gamers just wishing to practice on the various bosses the game offers can play Boss Mode, which lets players select bosses to fight, in order to increase effectiveness for the main game.

Speaking of the main game, in both arcade and original modes, players take on the roles of AMS agents out to stop an undead invasion being led by Goldman, the financial backer of Dr. Curien's 1998 experiment (Which was HotD1). The game features plenty of different types of dead things to shoot at, with quite a few of them sporting either armor or blades that can block bullets, forcing more precise aiming. Players start with three hit points, but can earn more by finding health kits in destructable pots and cans, or by saving certain civilians. Of course, life can be lost by shooting civilians, so care is required with shots. At the end of each stage, players are graded on their accuracy and how many civilians are saved, and may earn extra life with high ranking.

House of the Dead 3 isn't as feature-rich as House of the Dead 2, only boasting an arcade and time attack mode, with an extreme difficulty mode that can be unlocked which requies that enemies be shot in specific weak points to kill them. Gone is the civilian-saving nonsense of 2, replaced with minigames where one partner must save the other in order to gain extra life. The game's other gimmick is a branching path system which allows players to choose the order at which they'll take on the game's various stages. Like House of the Dead 2, the game boasts an amazing variety of enemies to shoot at, including enemies that have some protection and must be shot at carefully in order to take down. The lack of a boss mode is a shame, as this game has bosses that are every bit as crazy and interesting as in House of the Dead 2. At the end of each stage, players are graded based on time and accuracy, and may be able to win life with high enough rank.

Now since this is a Wii title, the game uses a cursor to represent where the player is aiming. This may be turned off in the options mode for Zapper users (who must then calibrate their Zapper), but the game doesn't really punish users of Wii remotes, as aiming is just as fast with the Wii Remote as it is with the light guns we all remember. The games are, however, extremely fast, making it a strain of reflexes in solo play. This is a game meant to be played with a buddy, which is a shame since both players share the same pool of credits. Also, while the story takes itself alarmingly seriously in House of the Dead 2, the voice acting is absolutely atrocious. House of the Dead 3 isn't going to win any academy awards either, but it seems at least as though the voice actors were having at least some fun with the decidedly more campy tone of the story.

In short, the game is quite a fun little romp, and a great addition to the library of any fan of light gun games. It's just a crying shame that the Wii can't handle House of the Dead 4: the Wii remote would be a great fit for that game. Oh well, we can always dream.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Shadow of Chernobyl - A review

2008-03-15T02:26:40Z

One of the bugbears that normally prevents me from beating a PC game in a timely and efficient manner is when they're buggy. Whether it be an unreasonable amount of glitches, or just a few broken side quests here and there, bugs can make a game, even one as enjoyable as S.T.A.L.K.E.R, a bit of an exercise in tedium. It's a shame too, because S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Shadow of Chernobyl is one of the more enjoyable games to hit the PC platform in a good long time.

The game stars an amnesiac Stalker who is coined "The Marked One"soon after he is rescued. With nothing to his name and not even abasic memory of who he is, he sets off into the recesses of The Zone: the radioactive hell that surrounds the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant. The story goes along a measured pace, with few scripted cutscenes. For the most part, it'll reveal itself slowly through dialog with NPCs and journals you find on the main quest arc. Despite the sparse narrative, the story is compelling, with just the right mix of history, fiction, politics and X-Files-style conspiracy.

Enemies, weapons, and allies come in a variety of shapes and sizes, ensuring that there isn't much in the way of boredom. From picking off rival Stalkers with a high-powered sniper rifle, to clearing out a field of mutated hunch-back creatures with a booming combat shotgun. Of course, the weapons get better the deeper the Marked One goes into the Zone, including a very powerful - and relatively quick-firing for asniper weapon - gauss gun. In order to deal with the enemies, it's necessary to collect armor, which is relatively easy to buy or find. However, continued abuse will degrade armor, making it less effective against attacks until it eventually breaks. This makes it absolutely essential to earn cash, either by completing side quests or by selling items scavenged from dead stalkers and various stashes found throughout the Zone. It's not going to be easy to make a fortune,though, since a strict weight limit will leave players going back andforth between their objective and the traders found in select areasof the Zone.

Of course, enemies aren't the only danger in the Zone. In addition to patches of radiation that would obviously be in the area around the nuclear power plant, oddities in nature, known as anomalies, litter the landscape. Most common are three types:anomalies that will wrap their victim in a powerful tornado, patches of land that will electrocute the player, and spots where the player will be burned by spontaneous geysers of fire. Armor can protect from these anomalies, as can special items called "artifacts" that are found in various spots along the Zone. Finding the right combination of artifacts will boost the Marked One's stats, enabling him to resist impact, burning, or any number of hazards that populate the Zone.

While the game isn't entirely open-ended, but the spots between level loads are large enough to provide plenty to explore in each area, including several large indoor complexes which prove especially dangerous, including the sarcophagus that encases the ruined Reactor 4. While the graphics are somewhat old by today's standards - the game was delayed several years - the tangible atmosphere and the wealth of little details that await those who explore off the beaten path, especially in the ruined city of Pripyat.

Not everything is wonderful in the Zone, however. Despite the exceptionally long development time, and even after several patches, there are many bugs in the game, some that even crash the game, as well as several side quests that are broken, which can leave players confused as to what to do next. Also, while the large Zone is fun to explore, it's not all that fun to walk back and forth, especially as being over the weight limit will make the Marked One's stamina drain far faster when he sprints. Vehicles, which were scrapped late in development, would have been very nice here. Lastly, while this isn't a problem per se, especially anal individuals will notice some inaccuracies in the depiction of the Zone, including the placement of Pripyat just south of the Chernobyl power plant - the real Pripyat is northeast of the plant, and is somewhat larger than the game's depiction.

However, those willing to endure the bugs and open-minded enough to ignore the small inaccuracies, S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Shadow of Chernobyl provides a fascinating post-apocalyptic romp of the quality not seen since the Fallout series. This is an amazing game, a treat for any gamer, even if there are a few rough spots.

Give-a-Shit Meter at Zero.

2008-03-14T15:41:58Z

In news that I'm sure is going to cause celebrations to break out throughout the United Kingdom, The BBFC has finally been strong-armed into giving Manhunt 2 an 18 certification. Yes, now you too can experience a mediocre piece of shock-value crap. Or not, if you're smart. BBFC Director David Cooke wasn't very happy that their attempt to force the non-release of this game was thwarted even after a legal proceeding.

We twice rejected Manhunt 2, and then pursued a judicial review challenge, because we considered, after exceptionally thorough examination, that it posed a real potential harm risk. However, the Video Appeals Committee has again exercised its independent scrutiny. It is now clear, in the light of this decision, and our legal advice, that we have no alternative but to issue an '18' certificate to the game."

Yeah, Dave, I'm crying for you. Don't you see my crocodile tears?

Seriously though, both sides have got me at wits' end. First off, the BBFC, who have admitted several times that they can't find any real causal link between gaming and real life violence, was simply blocking the game to look good with UK politicians. The game isn't that much worse than Manhunt 1, and is far tamer than Condemned 2. This was simply an attempt to be all high and mighty, and they were again slapped down by independant appeal. Get used to it.

Then there's Rockstar. This is a company built on crap games propped up with layers of shock value. Grand Theft Auto, for all its open-world environments, is an action game with broken combat and some of the floatiest vehicles in the history of vehicle physics, with GTA IV not looking any different. As for Manhunt, I'll just let Yahtzee tell you about that piece of shit:

It gets on my nerves that, with all the perfectly responsible companies in the gaming industry, Rockstar is the company everyone revolves around, be it politicians blaming them for all the world's ills or the overgrown children that are the core GTA demographic, gushing breathlessly about how awesome it is that you get to kill people for no reason. The fact is that games like GTA and Manhunt are neither particularly harmful or worth the fanboy circle-jerk they receive in the gaming community. Rockstar is simply another game developer putting out average games that no one would be excited about if not for the level of violence and the general devaluation of human life. Quite frankly, without the politicians jumping up and down every time a new GTA comes out, I doubt anyone would care.

But hey, Take-Two has won the right to publish Rockstar's latest excuse for a game. Hopefully the UK's gamer population doesn't go for the forbidden fruit the way people tend to. Seriously, the apple has worms in it.

Regarding Eliot Spitzer, and a reply to jwallace.

2008-03-11T20:56:44Z

As some of you may have heard, New York's esteemed governor, Eliot Spitzer, was arrested on charges of soliciting prostitution after being caught on a federal wire tap hiring an "escort." He's being publicly shamed, his wife doesn't look like she's taking it all that well, and he's likely to be forced into retirement from media and political pressure.

However, I don't have an issue with him hiring a prostitute. Hey, government types do that, I'm not that concerned. At least not by itself. However, the problem for me is that this goes against a very public morality platform. See, jwallice replied to the writer of this blog (which itself is a very entertaining and funny read) that he thinks the media coverage is unwarranted. He says the following:

I was laying in bed sick with the flu and found the story on several channels. My question is this: WHO SHOULD GIVE A FLYING FRICK!? Honestly, is it the least bit justifiable that the Governor of New York's private activities are publicly scrutinized by the media when our own former president (Clinton) was somehow allowed to stay in office after his affair with Lewinsky was disclosed?

And before everyone starts with the "but, but he's a politician elected by the people" I'll point out what was previously stated on this page namely that "spending days at a time away from his family will eventually cause him to cave". While I'm not okay with the fact that Spitzer was carrying on without his wife's knowledge I at least understand why he did it. His deeds are punishable by marriage laws of the state of New York and common street laws of his municipality but as another poster has written the media circus isn't needed.

Homeless are lying on the streets in freezing temperatures, gun crime statistics are skyrocketing and the U. S. economy is bracing itself for the biggest recession yet but NO, it's so important that the media displays Spitzer's affairs to the world instead. God help us all...

First off, President Clinton was impeached, which I can only imagine is a huge embarrasment, especially as he's only the second president to be impeached (Nixon resigned before Congress had the chance). He narrowly escaped conviction with a vote that was damn near along party lines and short of the constitutional requirement for conviction.

However, let's get back to Spitzer. While he did a lot of good things for New York, he was also one of those morality people that acts holier than thou about anyone else's sins. He was also a very vocal critic of violent media, including games such as Grand Theft Auto. Kotaku lifted a very nice quote from his 2006 campaign, for example:

Like all parents, I know it is increasingly difficult to protect our children from negative influences... We have learned that when self-regulation fails, government must step in... We must do more to protect our children from excessive sex and violence in the media... Media content has gotten more graphic, more violent and more sex-based...

Currently, nothing under New York State law prohibits a fourteen-year old from walking into a video store and buying... a game like Grand Theft Auto, which rewards a player for stealing cars and beating people up. Children can even simulate having sex with a prostitute...

I find it funny that he's against media that depicts sex with prostitutes, but has no problem hiring a whore of his own.

That is my problem, and that's why this matters. Much like Larry Craig, this guy presented himself as a sort of moral champion, only to be exposed as the same sort of deviant he claimed to be against. He used morality to get into office, but doesn't believe in what he's saying. He would take away our right to watch violent/sexual movies and play violent/sexual games while engaging in illegal sexual activity himself. This is hypocrisy people, and it's at the very core of what's wrong with American politics. It's why voter turnout in this nation is pathetic most of the time: people just believe that all politicians are lying to them, so instead of having a real democracy, we have fanboy wars that would make the GameSpot System Wars forums green with envy.

You ask me, any public official who acts like he's holier than thou, who makes morality a central platform, deserves to have every single second of his life monitored by journalilsts and federal agents. Be it someone who wants to deny me the right to buy GTA or the right to a legally-recognized relationship with my - female - lover, that person should be forced to live the life he wants to force us all into.

That's why this matters, jwallice. That's why this is a big deal.

Why the hatred for the PlayStation Store?

2008-03-11T17:01:01Z

A recent Kotaku article debunked a fake PlayStation Store picture, and while the fakery is pretty obvious, what is also obvious is that people hate the PlayStation Store.

Seriously, while we all agree that it needs more content and is a tad bit on the slow side, it's not like it's a horrible place where it's impossible to find what you're looking for. Everything is in its appropriate area, making it real easy to find that's needed. For example, if I wanted to download a PSOne Classic game, I'd go to Games > PSOne Classics, and then go to the game I want. Game demos, add-on content, PSP games and PSP demos are also in their own subdivision, making a search for the God of War: Chains of Olympus PSP demo as easy as buying Wild Arms. Games you've already bought are excluded from the list so you don't screw up and buy them again. If you need to re-download something for whatever reason, your download history is available at all times by clicking the link at the top of the screen. Videos are similarly divided between game trailers, theatrical trailers and Blu-Ray trailers.

And the beauty of the PlayStation Store is that everything is in its place. The categorization of content on the PlayStation Store is nowhere near as liberal as it is with Xbox Live Marketplace, so you're never left scratching your head and wondering how a particular piece of content ended up in a particular category.

Can it use work? Certainly. Really, only Steam has it absolutely right. However, let's not sit here and act like the PlayStation Store is the worst thing in the world. At least it's not as slow and clunky as the Wii Shop Channel.

Welcome to Bollywood.

2008-03-11T06:26:00Z

I remember as a kid loving the absolutely silly movies that channels like USA would show on their Up All Night program late at night. They had hilarious premesis, shoestring budgets and actors that would probably fail a high school drama class. However, their absolutely fantastical, off-the-wall plots would keep me enthralled from beginning to end.

However, it seems that this sort of silly movie has gone by the wayside in favor of serious dramas, truly vapid action and comedy movies, and reality TV. Focus group testing has all but killed the free spirit of those crazy B movies of the 80s and 90s, and I for one shed a tear.

However, in recent years, a new hero has emerged, riding a white stallion made out of paper mache and wielding a jevelin that he bought at Toys R Us and painted with silver Krylon.

Yes, it's Uwe Boll, director of such "masterpieces" as House of the Dead and Bloodrayne, and he somewhat recently released a trailer for FarCry, which looks to be the same nonsensical trash he always puts out. The enemy of hardcore gamers everywhere. But are we giving him too hard a time? Yes, his movies aren't all that great. OK, they're terrible by today's standards. And yes, they don't exactly live up to the games they're based on. However, let's remember that he's not exactly using top-tier gaming properties to begin with. Granted, I know someone who's going to rush in and defend Alone in the Dark, but look at the games he's made movies based on: Bloodrayne, House of the Dead, Dungeon Siege, and now FarCry and Postal. These aren't exactly the best game stories that the industry has to offer (granted, I liked Bloodrayne, but I like it for what it is - cheesy camp). It's not like he's taking cherished gaming properties and pissing all over them like what happened with Super Mario Bros. back in 1993, or the way Steven E.de Souza did with Street Fighter in 1994. He's taking B-tier games and pumping out B-tier movies with them. Nothing wrong with that, I say.

If anything, I think we need more of that B-movie mentality in storytelling in general. So much focus is put on being serious and "artistic" ("art" being whatever old white guys cling tightly to while they snub their noses at popular culture, but that's another blog post). Maybe I'm off base, but I think the gaming industry, as well as the movie industry, could benefit from a more balls to the wall approach with regards to story. Give me silly and unrealistic. Give me the aliens staring at a sunbathing young woman from a telescope and getting all excited that she's about to take off her "breast protectors," who later on have their ridiculous fur shaved off to reveal strapping young studs. Let's not worry about realism so damned much, and lets' get away from anime convention as well! Worry less about artistry and more about just being creative for its own damned sake!

Bungie Bails Microsoft Out... Again.

2008-03-08T02:48:47Z

As some of you may have heard, a gamer had his signed Xbox 360 erased by the braindead morons at Microsoft tech support a few weeks back. Microsoft, slow as ever to handle anything that doesn't specifically deal with their poorly-designed piece of shit falling apart at the seams, eventually got around to promising to rectify the problem. As I found out with my battle to get my Xbox Live Arcade games validated on my console after repair service, that "eventually" will likely take four or more months.

However, it seems that Bungie Studios wasn't willing to let one of their fans twist in the wind while Microsoft stuffed its head up its ass and pretended this wasn't an issue. Charging to the rescue like their most famous game character, Bungie sent the distressed fellow an amazing goodie pack. Here's what the guy gets:

Legendary Edition Helmet signed by most–if not all–of the studio staff
Halo 3 Soundtrack (two disc) signed by Marty O’Donnel (with “DO NOT ERASE!” written under his name)
Bungie Jacket
Bungie T-Shirt
Halo 3 Messenger Bag
Two Halo 3 Limited Edition Wireless Controllers (one covenant, one human)
Halo 3 Faceplate and Skins for Xbox 360
Four McFarlane Action Figures (MC, EVA Spartan, Brute Chieftan, Jackal Sniper)
Halo Actionclix Preview pack (Target exclusive sticker on the front)
Halo Actionclix Game Pack 4
Halo 3 Wall Graffix
Halo 3: Ghosts of Onyx Novel
Halo Graphic Novel
Halo 3 Wristband
Halo 3 Hackeysack

It amazes me just how awesome Bungie is, and how humble they've remained over the years. I can't imagine any other company with that amount of popularity going to such great lengths to help a fan. It would have been very easy for them to say "not our problem" and went on doing whatever it is they're doing at the moment while the scorned gamer wrestles with the single most incompetent customer service department ever assembled in the history of the gaming industry. Instead, they go out of their way to hook this guy up with something that would rock anyone's world.

But where is Microsoft in all this? Where is their attempt to "try to get you something similar, if not even more awesome.” Other than that one statement, Microsoft's been eerily quiet. Why did a software developer even have to step in to begin with? Microsoft should have been doing something within hours of this hitting the blogosphere at the very least. Then again, this is the same company who is completely unwilling to fix DRM issues related to repairs until you badger them for months.

And then people wonder why Microsoft has an amazingly bad reputation?

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles: The Review

2008-03-07T05:05:34Z

With my current LCD television, I'm unable to play House of the Dead 2 for Sega Dreamcast or Vampire Night for PS2 because traditional lightguns don't work on LCD screens. Yes, not being able to play House of the Dead 2 is a pain in the arse to me. However, having spent quite a lot of time with Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles for the Nintendo Wii, I must say that i've got me a great little stand-in until House of the Dead 2 and 3 for Wii comes out... Well, that and I finally get off my hindquarters and get Time Crisis 4 and the atrociously clunky Guncon 3.

Since graphics aren't going to be a huge focus on this review, let's just get them out of the way. No, this is not a huge improvement over Resident Evil 0, the remake or 4. In fact, the characters generally look the way as they do in their Gamecube games. However, considering Capcom was able to keep a constant and smooth framerate while keeping the character that pretty and using destructable real-time backgrounds which faithfully reproduce their pre-rendered counterparts, The Umbrella Chronicles shows that the Wii is far more than just a GameCube. The shadows are actually nice this time around too. Even the cursor necessary to aim (since the Wii remote will never be as accurate as a true light gun) is a pleasant red dot sight surrounded by graphical representation of the amount of ammo left in the current clip.

That done, let's get to the core of the game. Rather than create an entirely new storyline a la Gun Survivor and Dead Aim, The Umbrella Chronicles takes us on a whirlwind tour of Resident Evils 0, 1 and 3, along with several behind the scenes scenarios starring our favorite evil triple-crosser Albert Wesker. Now the 1-3 scenarios don't faithfully reproduce the storylines of the original games, with edits necessary to facilitate co-op play. Perhaps most atrocious of the edits is the Mansion Incident, which could have been more creatively played with for a Chris/Rebecca and Jill/Barry pair of scenarios instead of a single Chris/Jill scenario. However the endings are pretty much what they were in those games, and do a great job integrating the sub-scenarios and the completely new fourth chapter, which is about as close to a new Gun Survivor game as we're likely to get for a while. With the exception of Carlos Olivera, the original voice actors all return for their roles, which is sure to set off nostaligic tingles. And of course, Wesker kicking butt the way he's prone to do is sure to set off a fangasm for the Resident Evil faithful. It's only sad that Resident Evil 2 wasn't given a scenario as well, but one can at least hope for an Umbrella Chronicles 2.

Like most light-gun games, Umbrella Chronicles sends the characters on a set path, obliterating horrific creatures left and right on the way to a boss battle. Thankfully, this game cuts out any pretense that the player wants to do anything other than shoot like mad, and there are thankfully no parts in any scenario that require people to aim around bumbling, idiotic civilians. That isn't to say that there isn't any strategy involved. While players start off with a basic pistol with unlimited ammo but somewhat poor stopping power, even this pea shooter can deal massive damage when hitting an enemy's weak spot, such as a zombie's head or a massive serpent's mouth. Common enemies can also be taken down instantly by targeting a very specific critical hit box, but these spots are extremely tiny and require something of a crack shot to hit them with any consistency. In addition, special weapons with limited ammo but plenty of ammo can be found by destroying objects in the surrounding environment. Shooting out a pictureframe could reveal a rocket launcher! In addition to special weapons and grenades, files and other history items can be found in the environment, which adds a nice little layer of fan wank and expands the game's replay value immensely. To break up the constant shooting, levels and fights are littered with quick-time events where button presses and controller gestures are used to break out of or avoid attacks. Thankfully, the quick-time events never require the use of the nunchuk, which is only used for minor camera pivoting. The knife can also be used to hack at leeches or other similar enemies that like to cling onto players' faces. The only annoying part of the gameplay is reloading. Rather than have players shoot off-screen like a traditional light-gun game, it is necessary to give the remote a violent shake to manually reload a weapon. Weapons will reload automatically when the clip empties, but that's obviously a tactical disadvantage, so players will be left shaking the controller like mad and quite possibly injuring their Wii remote wrist.

Each main scenario is divided into three stages, which each have one checkpoint - not counting the boss at the end. Most of the time, bosses will be a massive creature that requires targeting a weak spot to damage at all. This can be incredibly frustrating at first, but the bosses are just slow enough where cooler heads will be able to spot a pattern and go to town. This isn't to say that they're easy. Indeed, at normal difficulty the game packs a whallop from start to finish, requiring dogged perseverence to get through the stages. At the end of each stage, players are awarded star points that can be used to upgrade the special weapons, making them even more powerful against the undead hordes.

The game features co-op play, where two players sharing the same life bar will be able to blast away together. This makes the game a good bit easier, but it's still a heck of a lot of fun compared to most games. The game's difficulty, however, is an issue, as differences between easy, normal and hard are limited to the amount of damage taken per strike. Normal and hard earn the same amount of star points, and have the same monsters behaving the same way. It's best to use hard only as a co-op mode.

While it's certainly no Time Crisis, Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles is a fine game that any light gun enthusiast or Resident Evil fan would do well to get. Now if only Capcom could port Resident Evil Survivor 2: Code Veronica to the Wii and finally release it in the United States...

Opinion on DMC4?

2008-03-06T04:58:24Z

Well, I'm planning on getting Devil May Cry 4 for PS3 (though I may have to delay it and get a controller as well, as mine seems to be acting absolutely retarded...) but I wonder how you people think of the game. There are two rather striking reviews that have me wondering whether the game is for me. I'm more into interactivity than bunches of cutscenes, but I did like the other DMC games. Anyway, the two reviews that have me wondering are Yahtzee:

And Katherine Fletcher from PlayDigital:

They both have strikingly different opinions, yet they're two people I trust rather highly. Any opinion from you guys? Maybe some of you have the game and would like to share YOUR opinions as users?

Why does "#1" mean so much?

2008-02-23T03:40:41Z

The system wars have been raging for ages, from SNES (S N E S, not "Snez" or any other such nonsense) and Genesis fanboys ragging one another on the schoolyard to the present day, when Wii, PS3 and 360 fans gurgle out nonsense at eachother on internet message forums everywhere. What I don't understand is why anyone cares.

Now I understand that a console is definitely a huge investment. However, it's not like one system's success comes to the detriment of another. I remember as a little girl walking to the local video store and seeing Lunar: The Silver Star on sale for $60 on the Sega CD. Of course, I didn't have a Sega CD at the time, as it was far too expensive and I was an SNES girl anyway. It was an awesome-looking game and I really, really wanted to play it, but understood that I wasn't going to get that chance, at least not at that time. I felt bad about it - RPGs were my lifeblood back in the day, and so rare to find. However, all I rmember was hoping for a Super Nintendo port at some point. I didn't really think the Genesis sucked, despite my fervent Nintendo fangirlism at the time. Adulthood came, and with it a PlayStation, where I literally had RPGs thrown at me left and right, and I never really went with my intention to get an N64 until after I got my PS2, Xbox and Cube. I never really got into the whole "[insert system here] sucks!" nonsense, and never really thought much of it. I just went where the games I liked were.

So now we're on the seventh generation, and the system wars are in full swing, with Xbox 360 fanboys trying to convince people that the PS3 has no games, PS3 fanboys trumpeting Blu-Ray like it was the most important thing ever and the especially annoying Wii fanboys shouting off from the mountaintops about how the Wii is saving the gaming industry with all this innovation, never mind that their big games tend to be games confined to established serieses and play styles. All three systems have good and bad points, so why is it so important that one system sell the most units? All I've ever cared about is that the system gives me tons of great games and makes money for the system maker so they'll make another one when the generation is done.

The fact is, quite frankly, the 'system wars' mean nothing. 3rd parties are going to go where their particular audience is, regardless of which system has the biggest number next to it on VGChartz. Great, the Wii has billions of units out there, but why would anyone make a violent FPS on it considering its demographic. Likewise, why would you buy a 360 if you're not into FPS games, regardless of its popularity?

All I'm saying is... No, not "Give peace a chance." Just play what you like. Don't be a dumbass fanboy.

Casual Games Are the Future? Over my dead body.

2008-02-21T08:06:13Z

The following is a response to a Gamernode article regarding John Welch's idea that casual games are the future. I originally wrote this in the comments section, but thought that it would garner some discussion here, so I'm posting it for your perusal.

A bit overly editorialized for my tastes, but oh, oh so true! The problem with TV as an analogy is that, as you said later on, after the boom comes the bust. Two or three years ago, TV stations were GLUTTED with reality TV. Now it's come down significantly, as only the best that the genre has to offer has survived, and with the death of the lesser reality shows, stuff like Lost, Heroes, Rescue Me and 24 emerged as the major TV nets realized that they need good content to get people to actually STAY. Wonder why the writer's strike was such an enormous deal? Why TV execs panicked once they realized they were going to have to cap Heroes season 2 early?

You're seeing the same thing with casual games, at least here in the States. While Wii hardware has sold briskly, software has not. Once you get past Nintendo 1st party and Rayman: Raving Rabbids, the games that are surviving on the Wii have a lot of "hardcore" resonance, like Resident Evil. The casual market isn't going to buy enough games to sustain this nonsense beyond three or four uber-series, the way only a few uber-series have survived the reality TV bust. Really, there's Dancing With the Stars, American Idol, Survivor and that's it (is Biggest Loser really that popular?). Everything else got lost in the crowd of Survivor imitators. In much the same way, the Wii has been choked half to death by staggering amounts of attempts to get on the Wii Sports bandwagon.

What I can't get is how this idiot can say that there's going to be this huge upswing in casual games, then turn around and say that no one's paying attention to it on the cell phone arena. HELLO!? McFLY!? If that's not a warning that this guy's shoving aside, I don't know what is! And before anyone says word one about Japan, remember that Japanese cell phone companies are more interested in selling top-of the line line phone tech than screwing over the customer the way they do in the West, resulting in cell phones that are easily capable of handling full RPGs like the upcoming The Third Birthday, Final Fantasy IV: The After, and Final Fantasy Agito XIII. There are DS-quality games on cell phones over there, not just crap like Breakout.

The problem here is that this idiotic industry still thinks in terms of casual/hardcore. There needs to be real demographic research, and games tailored more to demographics. I'm sure everyone knows that the original Star Trek series in the 60s was canned after only three seasons. What most may not know is that the cancellation came right before Nielson ratings started looking into the demographics, or the types of people watching shows, instead of just how many. What Paramount found out was that Star Trek appealed to an upper-class, affluent, intellectual crowd that they could charge advertisers a lot of money for. This is why we saw Star Trek: The Animated series, the Star Trek movies, TNG, and DS9, and why the series was going on strong until they messed it up with Voyager and Enterprise.

That's what we need to see in gaming industry market research: Not just how many people are buying a game, but WHO is buying that game? We understand that sports gamers are usually incredibly rabid fans of the sports themselves. What else can we gleam out of people who like FPSes, RPGs, puzzle games, etc? That's what we need to see: not just this overly-broad "casual" versus "hardcore" bull.

HD-DVD is dead.

2008-02-19T17:04:55Z

"Toshiba will begin to reduce shipments of HD DVD players and recorders to retail channels, aiming for cessation of these businesses by the end of March 2008. Toshiba also plans to end volume production of HD DVD disk drives for such applications as PCs and games in the same timeframe, yet will continue to make efforts to meet customer requirements. The company will continue to assess the position of notebook PCs with integrated HD DVD drives within the overall PC business relative to future market demand."

And with that, the high-definition format war is officially over.

While Toshiba's press release played up their continued commitment to digital convergence, the flowery words did little to conceal the truth: Toshiba, the lead force behind HD-DVD, has abandonned the format. HD-DVD is as dead as the dodo.

Launched in 2006 at around the same time as Sony's Blu-Ray Disc, HD-DVD was believed by most to be the sure-fire favorite, being much cheaper and easier to produce at the time. However, Blu-Ray's more robust security options and higher capacity would eventually win the day. While many saw the writing on the wall with Blu-Ray outselling HD-DVD by a ratio of two-to-one, Warner Brothers fired the fatal bullet in early January, when it dropped HD-DVD like a bad habit. This left an impossible fight for HD-DVD, which only had Paramount and Universal in its corner versus Sony Pictures, 20th Century Fox, Walt Disney, Lionsgate, and now Warner Bros. (including sister companies HBO and New Line Cinema) in the Blu-Ray camp. Then came the expiration of Universal's HD-DVD exclusivity contract. While Universal didn't announce a switch to Blu-Ray, their reluctance to renew their contract was damning. Then we had rumors floating around last week that Toshiba would pull the plug. Indeed, the whole thing was like watching an elderly person struggle in his last minutes of life: sad, disturbing, and kind of hard to watch.

And now it's over. After two years and two months, what was supposed to be this huge, epic format war has come to the sort of decicive end that leaves no doubt as to what the future of high-definition movies will be: 25-50GB Blu-Ray discs, with glorious video up to 1080p, including the bonus features. Full suites of internet features with the upcoming BD-Live standard. Video and audio of the highest quality, and a format that will not be killed off prematurely so Microsoft can force their horrid DRM-crippled Marketplace on people.

And make no mistake, the only reason this "war" lasted as long as it did was because Microsoft was paying Paramount and Universal off, trying to sow consumer confusion until they could get their download structure ready. With HD-DVD defeated, Microsoft now has to start over, forced to figure out how they're going to deliver 1080p movies, bigger than 15 gigs could ever hold, in a timely manner online. Ironically, Sony has ensured that the majority of people, who rather like physical media, will continue to be served for some time to come.

But what does this have to do with gaming?

As most of you all know, the main reason for the PS3's high price tag is the Blu-Ray drive built into the system. It was a huge risk, and the main contributing factor to the PS3's mass market ills. However, it shifted the direction of the high-definition war in their favor, a move which will likely make Sony far more money than the PS3 by itself ever could. Sacrificing the initial year of the PS3 for a format that could last up to twenty years has paid Sony huge dividends.

Conversely, Microsoft now has slimy, runny egg all over its face. From the very beginning, HD-DVD supporters saw the exclusion of HD-DVD from the Xbox 360's internal hardware as a disadvantage. Even if the 360 were to sell like hotcakes, where would that leave HD-DVD? Now with HD-DVD's death, those same supporters will likely blame Microsoft. Most see the PS3 as the primary reason Blu-Ray software sold so damned well - PS3 owners wanted to play with the new format, now that they could. Microsoft's HD-DVD add-on was never a viable alternative, due to the degredation that comes with a USB drive. But to those who DID buy the HD-DVD drive for 360, this is an especially hard kick in the nethers. $200 for what was supposed to be the format of the future, and now it's a useless piece of crap. At least the standalone HD-DVD drives can still play DVDs upscaled to decent quality.

So let us raise a toast to Sony, for their victory in the high-def format war. This was the perfect time, with HDTV's coming down in price. Blu-Ray is now in a perfect position to be pushed to the masses.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go build my Blu-Ray collection.